Forgetting I have Cancer...

For the last month my life has revolved around my sweet little miracle, Sofie.  Having her in the NICU for 2 weeks, and now having her home has left me little time to think about my cancer. I spend my days cuddling, feeding, and changing my girlie, and when she sleeps I am working on and cleaning my house and trying to make up some of the sleep I miss at night.

This is one of my favorite outfits, it is a preemie outfit and if you saw it in person you would not even believe that a baby could fit into something that small...this is Sofie's favorite thing to do....SLEEP!

Last week I had to have my first post baby cancer test...a PET scan. It wasn't too scary but the worst part was that I was radioactive for the whole day so I couldn't even hold my baby all day long. But the good news is that the results came back awesome! This week I went to my radiation oncologist and found out I have to have radiation a little longer than I thought ( 4 and a half weeks, every day mon-fri) and that I have to have it a little higher up on my neck than I thought. But I will get through it. The hardest part was that I had to be fitted for a mask that I will have to wear for treatments. When the Dr. said mask, I thought, "ok, no big deal right?" uh....no...it was terrifying!
First they take a hard plastic screen and dip it in very hot water, then 3 people put it on top of your head, neck, shoulders and it forms to every crease of your head, neck, etc. Then they stretch the plastic down till they can clip it to a board you are laying on. Then it dries hard and you have to lay there while it gets hard and tighter on your body. You can't move your legs, arms and certainly not your face. It's a bummer that I am claustrophobic because I was all but freaking out! I was crying inside my mask with my eyes closed and doing everything I could to not scream. Then after about 15 minutes in the mask they do a CT scan to find where your cancer is and mark on the mask where they want to do radiation treatments. And every day when I go I will get in the mask and have my treatment....sigh....I am sort of scared to death now. I am glad I had no idea what they would do to me or I would have been too scared to have it done...but now I'm just scared for my treatments to start (which they do next Wednesday).

This is not my mask but mine looks just like this...don't be fooled, it is not made of mesh but hard as a rock plastic!

I know I will get through them....this is the tail end of my treatments and I'm SO ready to be declared CANCER FREE! I have been thinking of having a party when I'm done to celebrate...any ideas what I should do?
I'm grateful for my family who will be helping me during all my treatments by watching my girlie and helping me as I get tired and weak yet again. I can't tell you how many times medical professionals have asked me if I have a good support system at home...and what a true miracle it is that I know I can always say yes. :)