Inside a PUMPKIN

I saw these cute posts on PINTEREST....

I thought, "Hey, that looks so cute!" I bet my baby would look adorable inside a Pumpkin!

We tried it....

It was supposed to look like this

     So cute right? or maybe like this?  

But of course our photo shoot looked like this

and like this....

and our best shoot of the night (the only one she wasn't crying in but looks like she may have baby expletives going through her head)...

After jumping around trying to make her happy and putting her in and out of the pumpkin, after lots of tears from our little Sofie, we finally gave up. Well, till next year. :)

And even though our little girlie smiles all the time and is the happiest, easiest baby around, I will always treasure these sad pumpkin photos of my miracle baby.

Time flies.....

Oh my goodness! I have not blogged in over a month and so much has happened.....

I'll try to give a short re-cap.

First, started back to work mid October! It has been hard to leave Sofie but she is in great hands with her Grandma's and I am so blessed to work 3 12's so I get 4 days off to be a full time mom! I have enjoyed my job but it has been an exhausting few weeks and my house has suffered the consequences but I'm sure it will get easier as I get more energy with time :)

Next came the 49er Football Game with my sweet Hubby. I really do love him so much! We had a blast watching them beat the Cardinals! Go Niners!

Another milestone over the past month was Sofie turning 3 months! This girlie has been growing like crazy and is FINALLY in 0-3 month clothes! She loves her feet, oatmeal (I know we started her young but she was ALWAYS hungry..and she loves it), sitting in her BUMBO, and smiling :) She is simply the greatest thing! A true blessing each and every day!

Then of course was Halloween! Me and Rafa both worked but I picked up Sofie and took her to my Grandparents so I could at least show her off in her little Strawberry costume!

Gotta love that sideways smile!

Then this past weekend we went to Schnepf Farm with my mom and neice and nephew! It was Sofie's first time in her new high tech stroller (Thank you Ellen) and it was a lot of fun! Though Sofie got scared when the Train Conductor blew the whistle and cried most of the remainder of the ride. She may be a scaredy cat like her mom!

So that is the quick overview of the month...I will soon have another Halloween post of a TERRIBLE but HILARIOUS photo shoot we attempted with Sofie and another one for the Light the Night Lymphoma walk but for now this is a good update!

I am feeling better and better everyday, and the Dr said that after 2 more PET scans, and as long as they both come back negative they will officially say I am in remission. Can't wait for that! I have been truly humbled this month with how blessed I am. I could not ask for a better life than the one I have been given and I realize that everyday I get to live is a miracle and that I truly want to take the time to do what I can to be grateful for every moment. 

Being Two Months Old

I can't believe I am already 2 months old!

Here are a few things about me and what I am up to these days! 

- I am already 8# 11 oz  and 21 inches long, which puts me in the 5th percentile for my weight and height. I know I'm tiny but eventually I will catch up to all the other babies my age, and even if I don't, being tiny is ok with me :)

- I am still wearing newborn clothes but hope to be in all my cute 0-3 month clothes soon! Sometimes it stinks to have a closet full of clothes I can't fit into! (I hear mom say that all the time too!)

- I like to play with toys now but it's a little hard to get a good hold of things still.

- I am getting better at sleeping at night but mom and dad say they wish I'd sleep a little more and wake up a little less.

- I get the hiccups several times a day and they can make me SO mad! But I've realized as soon as I get mad mommy always picks me up and cuddles me....interesting :)

- I am getting good at holding my head up and even figured out how to roll from my tummy to my back a couple times!

Lastly, I LOVE to go out! I love riding in the car, riding in shopping carts, or just being held walking around the house or the mall. 

My Aunt Jackie came to visit this past week and her, mommy and I went shopping on my 2 month birthday! We decided it would be fun to take pics of me with all the 2's we found!

I LOVE my binkie!

There is my mommy!

 That night was Abuelita's birthday! She is my daddy's mom and only speaks spanish so I don't call her Grandma, I call her Abuelita :) We celebrated her birthday and my 2nd month birthday! Everyone ate cake but mommy said I'm still too young for cake. 

Abuelita loves to give me lots of kisses!

 I can't wait to get bigger but mommy already says I am growing too fast! I don't plan to slow down anytime soon though...sorry mommy :) 

 I can't stay 2 months FOREVER!

Time will pass, and I'll grow big but I will always be my family's Milagrita (as my Abuelita says it) 

or Little Miracle.

I'm a SURVIVOR!

As I finished Radiation on Tuesday I tearfully rang a bell signifying the end. My radiation oncologist said that I could officially say

I AM A CANCER SURVIVOR! 

It has been quite a road, and I am still VERY tired and sore but it is only going to get easier from here. Chemo was so physically hard for me, but radiation was a mental and emotional battle, each day was a fight just to make it through treatment. Some days I didn't, ending in lots of tears, but eventually I learned how to change my mental focus, and with the great help of the miracle of music I finally made it through!

Tuesday was my day to celebrate! That night we went to dinner with my mom, mother-in-law, husband, sisters, niece, nephews, and of course my little Sofie. 

I still feel like I have more celebrating to do but my body is still so tired I may have to wait a couple more weeks :) I know that I still have lots of follow ups and tests in my future but am trying to just keep my focus on the excitment that I beat this lousy cancer! 

It really is such a miracle to be alive!

( I have much more to say but will save it for future blogs :) )

Due Date!

 Today is Sofie's Due Date! And she is exactly 6 weeks old! She is now 7# 5oz and doing Great! I have loved this time with her and have learned so much! Here are a few things I have learned about her so far!

My Little Girlie LOVES to sleep!  (if only I got to once in a while) Because she is preemie she can barely stay awake to eat. She is our little Firecracker..she starts out strong and then fizzles out...normally fades into the state below.

 She is the sweetest little girl in the world. I'm only a little partial :) She barely cries at all and when she is awake she just has the sweetest disposition. I'm totally in love with her!

She loves her daddy! I love to watch how comfortable Sofie is with Rafa, and how cute he is with her!

 She loves my voice. Being a mom is the best thing! When she starts to fuss at all or seems any sort of upset I can start talking to her and she immediately soothes. It is one of my favorite things and reminds me of our special bond we have already! 

P/S. Check out my hair! It's getting long and almost a little bit cute!  

Not a day goes by that I don't look at my baby and think about what a MIRACLE she is. I know I will never forget it.

Forgetting I have Cancer...

For the last month my life has revolved around my sweet little miracle, Sofie.  Having her in the NICU for 2 weeks, and now having her home has left me little time to think about my cancer. I spend my days cuddling, feeding, and changing my girlie, and when she sleeps I am working on and cleaning my house and trying to make up some of the sleep I miss at night.

This is one of my favorite outfits, it is a preemie outfit and if you saw it in person you would not even believe that a baby could fit into something that small...this is Sofie's favorite thing to do....SLEEP!

Last week I had to have my first post baby cancer test...a PET scan. It wasn't too scary but the worst part was that I was radioactive for the whole day so I couldn't even hold my baby all day long. But the good news is that the results came back awesome! This week I went to my radiation oncologist and found out I have to have radiation a little longer than I thought ( 4 and a half weeks, every day mon-fri) and that I have to have it a little higher up on my neck than I thought. But I will get through it. The hardest part was that I had to be fitted for a mask that I will have to wear for treatments. When the Dr. said mask, I thought, "ok, no big deal right?" uh....no...it was terrifying!
First they take a hard plastic screen and dip it in very hot water, then 3 people put it on top of your head, neck, shoulders and it forms to every crease of your head, neck, etc. Then they stretch the plastic down till they can clip it to a board you are laying on. Then it dries hard and you have to lay there while it gets hard and tighter on your body. You can't move your legs, arms and certainly not your face. It's a bummer that I am claustrophobic because I was all but freaking out! I was crying inside my mask with my eyes closed and doing everything I could to not scream. Then after about 15 minutes in the mask they do a CT scan to find where your cancer is and mark on the mask where they want to do radiation treatments. And every day when I go I will get in the mask and have my treatment....sigh....I am sort of scared to death now. I am glad I had no idea what they would do to me or I would have been too scared to have it done...but now I'm just scared for my treatments to start (which they do next Wednesday).

This is not my mask but mine looks just like this...don't be fooled, it is not made of mesh but hard as a rock plastic!

I know I will get through them....this is the tail end of my treatments and I'm SO ready to be declared CANCER FREE! I have been thinking of having a party when I'm done to celebrate...any ideas what I should do?
I'm grateful for my family who will be helping me during all my treatments by watching my girlie and helping me as I get tired and weak yet again. I can't tell you how many times medical professionals have asked me if I have a good support system at home...and what a true miracle it is that I know I can always say yes. :)

Our Greatest Miracle

My life has been full of so many miracles over the past several months...but by far our greatest one came on July 28, 2012. She came unexpectedly when my water broke at 34 weeks. We had planned for at least another 2 weeks but were so excited when she was born perfect as any baby could be! 

Sofie Maria Campos weighed 4# 13 oz and is incredibly beautiful! She breathed perfect on her own from the beginning and only had to stay at the hospital for a bit to learn to eat on her own and get a little more strength. But don't think she is weak, our little girlie has been strong and a fighter all the way through my less than perfect pregnancy. What a miracle from Heavenly Father! I thank Him everyday for her.

 I LOVE being a mom! It is the greatest thing I have ever been blessed to do. I can't seem to get enough of my baby girl. I love every single thing about her and am pretty sure she gets more beautiful every time I look at her! I also love watching my hubby be a daddy. He has by far exceeded every expectation I had for him as a daddy and watching him with her only makes my LOVE for him grow. I am trying to enjoy every minute with her as I know she will grow way too fast! 

 Enjoy this video of some of my fav pics so far of sweet little Sofie.

P/S: I FINALLY finished the baby room (until I can afford a few more pictures and a few shelves).

Here it is for those who want a peek!

I'm grateful....

 I've learned a lot in the past several months and one of the most important things I think I have learned is to be grateful for all the little (as well as the big) things in life. 

I am so grateful that chemo is over but more than that I am so grateful for science and medical advances! I have never been one to know (or care...sad but true) too much about science but as I've battled this cancer I have been so grateful for the modern advances in science and how lucky I am to live in a day in age where having cancer does not have to mean death. Because I plan to live for a VERY long time and continue beating this cancer. 

I am so grateful to be pregnant! I love feeling my little girl move all the time and knowing that she will be here in 5 short weeks is amazing! I can barely wait and know what a miracle pregnancy truly is!

I am grateful for work. I went back to work this week. (What?!!!)  Yep, I can't believe it either. It has not been easy to be honest and my body is exhausted but I am grateful that I have such a wonderful job to go back to and am grateful for those I work with and how supportive and sweet they all are to me.

I would truly be ungrateful if I didn't say that I am so grateful for my faith. On my first day of chemo an old man that had been in treatments for 8 years told me that the most important thing to have going through all this is faith in God. Of course I knew that before but I know it even more now. 

I am grateful for my family! On the 4th of July Rafa and I  went to a Diamondback game with my mom, dad, and my niece and nephew. 

I am grateful for our country. I didn't get a chance to take a picture but before the game they had all kinds of military men and women on the field and during the 7th inning stretch not only did we sing "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" but also "God Bless America".  It was pretty amazing and had me in tears.

I'm grateful for my hubby. For his sweetness, and for how he has really stepped it up the past few months and showed me even more how I am so blessed to have him in my life. 

I'm grateful for children, particularly my nieces and nephews.  I  was able to spend a lot of time with my nephew, Captain and my niece Brooklyn over the past couple weeks and love them to pieces! This little girl has me SO excited to be having a little girl of my own. She is so sweet and loving and girlie...I love every minute with her!

And I'm grateful for fireworks...yep, even the little things like fireworks make me happy. I found myself in awe as I watched them this year....something about it just made me so happy and grateful for my life and for everything that surrounds me. When you get a minute sit back and think of all the little (and big) things you are grateful for....I'm sure if you could see things thru my eyes you would realize how blessed we all are!

Chemotherapy Graduate!

Yesterday was my last chemo therapy treatment! Forever I hope! When I left all the nurses stood and clapped for me and they gave me this little certificate. I couldn't help but cry...they were tears of joy and just being overwhelmed because all that I have been through. I also got to ring a bell as I walked out....I rang it hard too! I'm hoping I never have to enter that treatment room again! 

Chemo is over and I have a little break now until baby Sofie comes in about 7 weeks. I still have 2-3 dr appts a week but no more big treatments for a while.  A couple weeks after Sofie is born I will start Radiation Therapy. I will have radiation everyday for 3 1/2 weeks and then I pray I will be done with all this cancer poo! Radiation should not be as hard as chemo (or so I've heard). The worst part will be tiredness and some pain in my esophagus as the radiation is direct to my chest. I feel like I can make it through just about anything now though...which is good because I got a call yesterday that I have Gestational Diabetes! I cried for a while, mainly because I just don't want to have to deal with anything else, but I know I can handle this. Apparently as I have been researching, chemo can raise your blood sugar too...go figure. I have to meet with a dietician on Monday to go over how to prick my finger to check my glucose and about what to eat....the only problem is that no one quite knows what to do with a pregnant girl with cancer, let alone a pregnant girl with cancer and Gestational diabetes. I have struggled to gain any weight and they worry about my baby being too small, I've been told to eat whatever I can when I can, Until now. But I'll do my best and do what I can to listen to all of the different advice from all my different doctors (which sometimes does not match at all). Just another thing that Sofie and I will get through though :)

I have a lot of hair now...it's all fuzzies still, which means it's baby fine and super thin but I'm hoping in a few months I'll start getting my real hair back again! Woo hoo!

Last Saturday my sister, Wendy and my mom threw me my baby shower! Holy AMAZING! It was so beautiful and so much fun! My sister is an amazing party planner (to say the least). The food was great and I had so many great friends and family come! I was a little overcome with love and haven't had that much fun in a while! I definitely feel so grateful for how loved I am and for everything that everyone does for me, particularly my mom and my sister. I feel like I don't say enough about them and how much I love them and all they do.  My sister always goes above and beyond to do everything for me. She planned an awesome shower and has very much spoiled Sofie already! I am sure no one has a sister quite like her!

And I don't think I could ever say enough about my mom. She is over here every day after I have chemo, making me drink, and making food for me. Even when I can't get out of bed she stays with me and makes sure I am taken care of, getting me anything I need or want. She takes me to all my appointments, and pretty much is willing to do anything for me. She wants me to have fun and takes me to lunch and out to do all kinds of things, as long as my body will handle it. Whenever my husband can't be with me, I know she will be. She, more than anyone else, puts up with my grouchiness when I don't feel so good, and never takes it personally. I love her so much and am SO BLESSED to have a mother like her!

The awesomeness of my shower! 

I have kind of had a thing for owls lately....my sister MADE these cute owls! SO AMAZING!

I don't have too many pictures but I'll try to get some more from others to post soon :)

This has been far from an easy time in my life but I am so grateful for all the miracles I've seen, and for all the love around me. I am so supported and truly blessed each and every day and know that I could not make it through all of my challenges without these limitless everyday miracles.