Today I find myself looking and searching for an everyday miracle....and I realize that some days may be like that....some days are better than others...and today has been one of the less better days.
A couple of days ago I started losing my hair....it happened slowly at first and I questioned if maybe I was just shedding more than usual....nope, it's coming out. Today as I showered it came out in handfuls and brushing it our was even worse. I've held back the tears so far...but know I will break down soon. I haven't felt very well today either which always seems to make me a little more emotional. I always used to blame being emotional on pregnancy, now I normally blame cancer...but it's probably a combination of the two.
I have always been funny about my hair....I remember when I first dyed it how nervous I was and how everytime I get it cut I get anxious because I want it to look just right. Any friends that have known me long know I love to do different things with my hair and that I have always loved my hair, not in a vain way, just in a "my hair is a favorite feature" way. I am thinking of going to cut it all off tomorrow....I just don't know if I can continue watching it fall out everyday....I knew it would be hard, but it's harder than I thought.
Today I believe my miracle is my family. I try so hard to have a positive attitude about everything that is happening to me but today I realize that the positive attitude of my family is my miracle that gets me through when my attitude doesn't reach where I want it to. My hubby is going to shave his head and says when I lose all mine we will be twins, two milk duds, one chocolate, and one vanilla. Haha! I keep saying how I will look like a hippo with a bald head and an everyday growing baby belly. But my hubby is not concerned at all that I will be bald which gives me a little relief. I bought two wigs this week...I hope I feel like wearing them because they are much more expensive than I ever would have thought! But my mom got one and I got the other which lessened the blow just a little bit.
I'm sure I'll get used to not having hair....I plan on being creative and using flowers, and hats any way I possibly can. ANYONE who knows me knows how I love to wear flowers in my hair...and I plan on continuing that trend any way I can. I'm so blessed to have a family who helps me stay positive and that reminds me to take one day at a time. Often times people are everyday miracles and today I realize more than ever that my family is mine.
A couple of days ago I started losing my hair....it happened slowly at first and I questioned if maybe I was just shedding more than usual....nope, it's coming out. Today as I showered it came out in handfuls and brushing it our was even worse. I've held back the tears so far...but know I will break down soon. I haven't felt very well today either which always seems to make me a little more emotional. I always used to blame being emotional on pregnancy, now I normally blame cancer...but it's probably a combination of the two.
I have always been funny about my hair....I remember when I first dyed it how nervous I was and how everytime I get it cut I get anxious because I want it to look just right. Any friends that have known me long know I love to do different things with my hair and that I have always loved my hair, not in a vain way, just in a "my hair is a favorite feature" way. I am thinking of going to cut it all off tomorrow....I just don't know if I can continue watching it fall out everyday....I knew it would be hard, but it's harder than I thought.
Today I believe my miracle is my family. I try so hard to have a positive attitude about everything that is happening to me but today I realize that the positive attitude of my family is my miracle that gets me through when my attitude doesn't reach where I want it to. My hubby is going to shave his head and says when I lose all mine we will be twins, two milk duds, one chocolate, and one vanilla. Haha! I keep saying how I will look like a hippo with a bald head and an everyday growing baby belly. But my hubby is not concerned at all that I will be bald which gives me a little relief. I bought two wigs this week...I hope I feel like wearing them because they are much more expensive than I ever would have thought! But my mom got one and I got the other which lessened the blow just a little bit.
I'm sure I'll get used to not having hair....I plan on being creative and using flowers, and hats any way I possibly can. ANYONE who knows me knows how I love to wear flowers in my hair...and I plan on continuing that trend any way I can. I'm so blessed to have a family who helps me stay positive and that reminds me to take one day at a time. Often times people are everyday miracles and today I realize more than ever that my family is mine.
Amber! I'm sorry yesterday was a hard night. I'm hoping you're feeling a little more positive today. It's gorgeous out, which should make you smile a little!
ReplyDeleteYou are beautiful regardless of your hair! Just think of all the other great features you have: your unreal blue eyes, your shining smile, not to mention your AWESOMELY fun personality!
Love you! Stay positive and if you can't do that, stay sassy at least!
That WOULD be sad! I'm so sorry you have to go through all of this. :(
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